WonderfulPessimist.com

John McCain wants to label it “a tale told by an idiot,” but whether that’s true or not, GOP US Senate challengers in Arizona J.D. Hayworth is certainly “full of sound and fury,” though it remains to be seen if his latest ad campaign in his challenge of McCain for the GOP nod is “signifying nothing” or not.

Hayworth, a one-time talk radio host, launched an ad critical of McCain’s conservative credentials, using an ad that paints McCain’s face blue, as in the movie Avatar. It’s a shiny, glitzy, with-it ad with a biting sense of humor and savvy pop-culture IQ filling the screens of netbooks nation-wide.

So of course, McCain and crew are demanding an apology for Hayworth calling McCain a “nominee for best conservative actor.” And here I thought it was that “sound like Reagan, govern like Carter” fellow currently in the White House.

Huh…

Speaking perhaps from his vacation rental Hawaii-style, former DNC leader Howard Dean shocked the world recently by sounding… sane. He criticized Dem leaders in Congress and the White House for making the current health care proposals before Congress the hill on which they’ll live or die.

“The plan, as it comes from the Senate, hangs out every Democrat who’s running for office to dry — including the president, in 2012, because it makes him defend a plan that isn’t in effect, essentially, yet,” Dean said in a recent interview on the liberal-leaning Bill Press radio show.

Of course, Dean then reverts to form and blames the powerless GOP for the situation, but that’s to be expected from Dr. Death. The shocking bit is that he actually spoke the truth despite the Dem talking points that prohibit independent thought from the chief executive.

Maybe this proves just how crazy Dean is…

The University of Tennessee waited and waited and now, with the University of East Anglia scandal and the theory of global warming all but froze over… now UT has decided to award Algore (still vastly in need of ephedra weight loss products) an honorary degree in “visionary leadership.” Huh?

Let’s see, if the 1990ish book Earth In the Balance was his Master’s thesis and An Inconvenient Truth was his doctorate thesis, and the UT is still considering awarding the former veep even an honorary degree, then one has to wonder what kind of peer-review panel actually looked over his work for accuracy and truthfulness. Maybe the thesis committee was chaired by Michael Moore?

All I can say to all you young high school seniors considering where to go for higher education is: stay far away from the University of Tennessee. With degrees being handed out this freely and irresponsibly, you’ll soon be able to pick one up in the Wal-Mart toiletry aisle for $1.95. Save over $50,000 in student loans!

The Supremes – meaning the folks who sit on the US Supreme Court – look prepared to demonstrate their ability to re-state the obvious in the gun ownership rights case currently before the high court. With the five justices who decided Heller – the case that struck down Washington DC’s outright ban on private ownership of guns – still all sitting on the court, the case they are now reviewing could extend that ruling to prohibit states from infringing on second amendment rights with outright bans as well.

The Procerin-induced arguments before the court are a bit hysterical on both sides, but it boils down to this: the court is essentially going to wind up saying, “Uh, yeah, looks like the Second Amendment actually IS part of the U.S. Constitution and it means what it says on the face of it.”

Such mastery of the obvious would be insulting if liberals hadn’t spent so many years trying to lawyer-talk the Second Amendment into “a bad, outdated idea.”

For an encore, it is rumored that Chief Justice John Roberts will issue an opinion that, “The Ten Commandments are in no way, shape or form ever referred to as The Ten Suggestions.”

‘Nuff said?

Microsoft Vice President for Trustworthy Computing Scott Charney today unveiled the software giant’s latest venture: forming government taxation policy. Charney announced in San Francisco at a security conference that he believes the best way to pay for cyber-security programs is to… tax the American people via an Internet usage tax.

Even though the Web has thrived and been an economy-saver in many respects by existing free of most such measures, Microsoft Taxation 2010 would end the so-called “free ride.” Even Adipex reviews are more intriguing than a Charney speech, but this one raised a few eyebrows… one would presume MS Taxation 2010 would eventually be rolled into the Microsoft Office Suite – Big Government Edition.

Not to be outdone, Steve Jobs of Apple announced a new micro-gadget that would lock taxed voters out of Web space, to make more room for iTunes on the ‘net. The name of the new device? iWithoutRepresentation! Of course.

President Barak Obama is playing right into GOP plans with his latest call for congressional Democrats to ignore the negative polls and political consequences, fall on their swords and pass his health care reform plan, “now.” Whether the Dems in both houses, who enjoy overwhelming (if not gripe-proof) majorities, will commit political suicide for their President remains to be seen.

Still, give President Obama credit for getting into the testosterone cream, at least; however unpopular it may be, he believes in his socialization of one-sixth of the US economy, and, like Custer, he’s making his stand on this particular hill.

Time will tell if Obama and his fellow Dems will fare better than good ol’ George Armstrong…

Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin and reality TV producer Mark Burnett are teaming up to shop a reality TV series around Hollywood, which would focus on Alaska and the Palin family, according to numerous online reports. Considering a reality show, even if approved for next fall, could spend as much as a year in production and it’s already 2010, the chances of Palin running for the GOP presidential nod in 2012 are starting to look slimmer and slimmer.

No one can begrudge Palin wanting to cash in and make a living for her and her family; but with her job search possibly impinging on the 2012 presidential campaign season, it’s looking like Palin may have her sights set on 2016 and beyond, or has embraced the celebrity life.

The reason a reality TV jaunt could impinge on a presidential run goes not just to conflicting schedules, but to FCC campaign standards. If Palin wishes to run, no broadcast show featuring her could air once her campaign for the White House officially begins, without invoking the specter of “equal time” laws regulated by the FCC. Since it’s unlikely any broadcast or cable net is going to give the green light to a Palin reality show that it would need to clone for some twelve to twenty candidates from the two major parties as well as minor party candidates, the chances of a show getting green-lit by Hollywood would likely depend on assurances from Palin that she’s committed to the show over a presidential run… at least until the first season completes airing.

There are numerous precedents for such situations; in 1980, broadcast TV had to cease airing old movies and TV shows featuring Ronald Reagan until after the Carter-Reagan showdown was over. More recently, in the late 1990s, former pro wrestler and talk radio host Jesse Ventura was forced to step down from his radio gig to run for Minnesota governor.

A new Harvard study is that the Obama Administration’s emissions goals for so-called greenhouse gases, which he wants reduced by 14 percent from 2005 levels by the year 2020, would result in boosting the cost of gas to a staggering seven dollars a gallon, more than four dollars above current prices.

The bulk of the increase would arise not from oil shortages, supply chain challenges or even war in the Middle East, but simply from new, confiscatory increases to fuel taxes, sufficient to drive most low- and middle-income Americans out of their cars and force them economically onto transportation.

The naivety of such a policy, however, is readily apparent to anyone who understands market economics, as well as anyone who remembers what nearly $4.00/gallon gas did to our economy in 2008. To wit: we’re still recovering from the economic slow-down it caused.

To make matters worse, gas at seven dollars a gallon would skyrocket inflation to unheard-of levels and force even the middle-class into the category of the “working poor,” effectively killing off most small businesses.

Real bright idea, Obama… go sell insurance quotes to Acorn and leave the country alone, will ya?

Two-term incumbent GOP Texas Governor Rick Perry fended off strong challenges from three-term GOP Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson and Tea Party activist Debra Medina to secure his party’s nomination for an unprecedented third term.

Perry, who has embraced the Tea Party Movement and anti-Obama sentiment, secured 51 percent of his party’s support, followed by 31 percent for the more liberal Hutchinson, and around 18 percent for the more conservative-leaning Medina. None of them seem including toward selling life insurance, so Hutchinson will continue in her Senate seat while Medina made a strong enough showing to be heard from again.

However, Perry holds several distinctions; even without a third-term, he’s the longest-serving governor in Texas history and will face former Houston mayor Bill White in the fall in a bid to extend his reign. Perry’s first term was relatively quiet but as the Bush presidency was ending, he emerged from his predecessor’s shadow to become a strong conservative voice.

At a Tea Party meeting last summer, Perry even gave voice to Texas independence if Obama’s strong-arm federal approach didn’t tone done… a note he struck again in his victory speech Tuesday night.

New DNA studies recently announced have confirmed the cause of death for the mysterious boy king of Egypt, Tutankhamen. Scientists found evidence of severe malaria, possibly brought on by a broken leg. As it turns out, Tut was a sickly lad who probably walked only with the aid of crutches during his brief and tragic life. (And given that there were no PCs back then, he probably went his entire life without seo software, either!)

Testing further confirmed his parentage as the son of notorious Egyptian monotheist, Akhenaten, and his mother one of Akhenaten’s sisters.

Tut also suffered from a cleft palate, Kohler’s disease, and a club foot, according to the study; Akhenaten dealt with a cleft palate, while Tut’s grandfather also had a club foot. Like his father, Tut married one of his sisters. It is believed the dynasty Tut was part of passed down such afflictions like this because of too much inter-marriage.

One affliction Tut and his family did not suffer from, however, was Marfan Syndrome, an affliction that can elongate limbs and lend a feminine appearance to males.

Algore, however, has denounced the study, insisting Tut was, “the world’s first victim of global warming.”

Whatever, Al…

Evan Bayh, the Democrats’ version of John McCain – a long-time party member who only voted with his party on occasion – has decided to call it quits after only two terms as the US Senator from Indiana. While Bayh’s resignation makes it more possible for the GOP to reclaim the seat once held by Dan Quayle and Dan Coats.

Unlike fellow Dem John Edwards, Bayh’s decision to retire from the Senate has nothing to do with herpes simplex virus 2 in any way, shape or form. He simply believes he can do more good for the country in the private sector, rather than in government.

Really? And Bayh was a Dem? How’d they let him get away with thoughts like that for two terms? He sounds like your average Newt Gingrich Republican!

Texas governor Rick Perry and several national industry groups filed several separate petitions in Federal court today, questioning the US Government’s authority to regulate greenhouse gas emissions. Generally, Perry and the other groups are arguing that emissions regulations are not a Constitutionally-mandated power and, as such, ought to be left to individual states to decide.

Of course, the Environmental Protection Agency will be among those arguing the government’s “Oh yes we can” case. While backing the government off emissions would be a huge Federal budget fat burner, the likelihood of the case gaining traction in court is slim; the US Court System stopped using the US Constitution as its guiding light decades ago…