Hillary version 12.75

In her latest speeches, attempting to capitalize on some poorly chosen comments by rival Barack Obama, Sen. Hillary Rodham has unveiled the latest version of herself, this time as a church-going gun lover.

Although it is too early to tell, the latest iteration of Sen. Rodham isn’t any more appealing than previous versions, even though dedicated programmers behind the latest makeover of the bellweather franchise insist his is the most feature-filled version yet.

“We bought the code engine off an old-model JFK platform,” the source close to the project team behind the recent makeover, who wished to remain anonymous, said. “We’ve programmed in a whole new emotional range, and fixed the annoying, bug-filled laugh that marred version 10.2 and up. We were thinking of naming this one version 13, but decided to hold off on that until after Pennsylvania.”

Whether the changes will be enough to lure new supporters remains an unknown, although one industry analyst remarked, “Paint her up whatever way you want, and at the core it’s still the same old Hillary. It’s been played to death and people are anxious for a true next-generation candidate, not this remixed, same-old same-old crap running off platform beds from two generations old technology. Just you watch.”

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