Archive → March 4th, 2010
Volunteers honor Gore?
The University of Tennessee waited and waited and now, with the University of East Anglia scandal and the theory of global warming all but froze over… now UT has decided to award Algore (still vastly in need of ephedra weight loss products) an honorary degree in “visionary leadership.” Huh?
Let’s see, if the 1990ish book Earth In the Balance was his Master’s thesis and An Inconvenient Truth was his doctorate thesis, and the UT is still considering awarding the former veep even an honorary degree, then one has to wonder what kind of peer-review panel actually looked over his work for accuracy and truthfulness. Maybe the thesis committee was chaired by Michael Moore?
All I can say to all you young high school seniors considering where to go for higher education is: stay far away from the University of Tennessee. With degrees being handed out this freely and irresponsibly, you’ll soon be able to pick one up in the Wal-Mart toiletry aisle for $1.95. Save over $50,000 in student loans!
Supremes, mastering the obvious, could affirm gun rights
The Supremes – meaning the folks who sit on the US Supreme Court – look prepared to demonstrate their ability to re-state the obvious in the gun ownership rights case currently before the high court. With the five justices who decided Heller – the case that struck down Washington DC’s outright ban on private ownership of guns – still all sitting on the court, the case they are now reviewing could extend that ruling to prohibit states from infringing on second amendment rights with outright bans as well.
The Procerin-induced arguments before the court are a bit hysterical on both sides, but it boils down to this: the court is essentially going to wind up saying, “Uh, yeah, looks like the Second Amendment actually IS part of the U.S. Constitution and it means what it says on the face of it.”
Such mastery of the obvious would be insulting if liberals hadn’t spent so many years trying to lawyer-talk the Second Amendment into “a bad, outdated idea.”
For an encore, it is rumored that Chief Justice John Roberts will issue an opinion that, “The Ten Commandments are in no way, shape or form ever referred to as The Ten Suggestions.”
‘Nuff said?
Announcing Microsoft Taxation 2010!
Microsoft Vice President for Trustworthy Computing Scott Charney today unveiled the software giant’s latest venture: forming government taxation policy. Charney announced in San Francisco at a security conference that he believes the best way to pay for cyber-security programs is to… tax the American people via an Internet usage tax.
Even though the Web has thrived and been an economy-saver in many respects by existing free of most such measures, Microsoft Taxation 2010 would end the so-called “free ride.” Even Adipex reviews are more intriguing than a Charney speech, but this one raised a few eyebrows… one would presume MS Taxation 2010 would eventually be rolled into the Microsoft Office Suite – Big Government Edition.
Not to be outdone, Steve Jobs of Apple announced a new micro-gadget that would lock taxed voters out of Web space, to make more room for iTunes on the ‘net. The name of the new device? iWithoutRepresentation! Of course.
