A drunk driver, a coward and a nobody walk into a governor’s race…

Even if you offered me briefcases full of money, it would be hard for me to select a desirable candidate this year in the Minnesota Governor’s race.

The GOP has a solid conservative in Tom Emmer, but he’s a two-time loser when it comes to DWI charges, and that’s one time too many in my book. You can have all the “right values” in the world, and if you don’t live by them, who cares? It’s going to be hard to cast a vote for Emmer as things stand now.

Trouble is, who else is there? The Dem’s best candidate, Matt Entenza, might have won me over, but finished a distant third. The winner, Mark Dayton, is and always will be a 9-11 coward in my book. He embarrassed the state enough by serving a term as US Senator; he’s done nothing to earn a reprieve from me… and he’d raise taxes uncontrollably.

Then there’s Independence Party candidate Tom Horner… a former speechwriter for GOP Senator Dave Durenburger back in the Reagan Era. Ehh. So what? He supports gay marriage and huge tax hikes, so he’s still a non-starter for me, as well as a nobody.

I’m really tempted to sit this election cycle out. With Entenza gone, there’s just no one to feel good about voting for.

Emmer atop GOP, but DFL’s a toss-up

The media was all over the Minnesota primary on Tuesday, and while Republican Tom Emmer won the GOP primary handily and Tom Horner won the Independence Party nod virtually uncontested, the fate of the DFL candidacy for Minnesota governor was in doubt as flash-flood conditions rocked the Twin Cities metro area.

While stations posted digital camcorder reviews of the night’s election results, mand Sony Handycams were in use as reporters rushed to track down the latest poll counts. Certain there were also many camcorders crowding the halls of all three Minnesota political parties, hoping to get that golden soundbyte that could encapsulate the night.

In fact, it is WonderfulPessimist.com’s belief that the DFL blew it tonight. Party nominee Margaret Anderson Kelliher held a narrow, 41-to-40.9 percent lead over veteran Democrat Mark Dayton for the nod, and either one is certain to be less appealing to mainstream Minnesota voters than Matt Entenza, who was running with former Fox 9 News co-anchor, Robyn Robinson.

Entenza is just as leftist as Kelliher and Dayton, but he has the advantage of a great “small town Minnesota kid made good” back-story that is unlike anything Kelliher or Dayton bring to the table.

Kelliher is a polarizing figure unlikely to appeal to tweener voters; her anti-Bush-centric primary campaign showed her to be out of step and out-of-tune with voters in a year when most voters no longer blame the current economy on Bush and Bush alone, but are disillusioned with Barak Obama. She played attack-style politics from the word “go” without ever stopping to make a strong, ideas-and-issues-based argument for why she would make a good governor.

By contrast, Dayton is an equally polarizing figure, but for different reasons; Minnesotans remember him as the cowardly Senator who fled Washington over a terrorist threat about an anthrax attack that never materialized; he retired after one term, in disgrace, and is hoping Minnesota voters have a short memory when it comes to his cowardice.

Both will be vulnerable to an effective campaign by Emmer, especially if he focused as much on ideas as he does on his opponents. Entenza would have been another story; he is the one candidate Emmer would have no chance against… basically because he’s likable.

Too bad he won’t get the chance. He looks great on any digital camcorde.

Waters, Rangel going down

California congresswoman Maxine Waters and New York congressman Charles Rangel share 16 ethical charges between the two of them, and could go a long way to aid the anti-incumbent sentiment currently placing Congress at all-time-low approval numbers. With mid-term elections looming, they could easily become the face of Nancy Pelosi’s so called “most ethical Congress in history.” That promise is sounding more and more hollow with each passing day.

If there is a sea-change in Congress, however, the GOP should be aware that it is not necessarily a shift toward conservatism that is fueling the current unrest, but a vast disillusionment with the Obama campaign promises versus the delivered results. While the GOP could turn the electorate toward conservatism, they will have to do more to accomplish that than ride the current wave of anti-incumbent discontent.

To turn this into a pro-GOP movement, the Republicans must sell their alternative ideas the the electorate as a solution to the current Carter-like national malaise, all the way up and down the socio-economic ladder from the blue collar worker to the wholesaler to the CEOs.

Otherwise, any re-taking of the reigns in Washington will be purely temporary and could easily shift against them a couple election cycles down the line; heck, it could even ensure the re-election of Barak Obama, if they play their cards unwisely. Make it about ideas, not ethics.

Obama’s mid-term theme: It could be worse

After two years on the job, that visionary fire-breathing agent of change, President Barak Obama, is now whistling a different tune: Don’t change a thing! Instead of acknowledging honestly that things are not good, Obama’s inspiring message in this time of national crisis is, in effect, “Well… it’d be worse with the other guys.”

That’s a tough, tough sell. Even if he were wearing some sharp-looking Ugg boots, it’d be a tough sell.

When Reagan faced a tough transition in 1982, his message was notably different and summed up by the phrase, “Stay the course.” It was a theme that said, “What we’re doing is working… Just give us a little longer.” And it worked.

That’s not the same message at all as “It’d be worse without us.” Could this be 1994 all over again? Let’s hope so!

Senator Laughing Stock sounds off

Former comic and current Minnesota US Senator Al Franken, otherwise known as Senator Laughing Stock, is trying on a new punchline. According to a report by The Hill, Franken told a Las Vegas gathering of liberal bloggers and other unemployed people that, “If Republicans take back Congress they’ll implement a truly dangerous agenda. Everything is on the table, from repealing healthcare reform to privatizing Social Security.”

Repealing health care reform? Sounds good to me! Someone needs to staunch the bleeding of our nation’s pocketbooks by President Obama, and Franken has made it clear he and his Democrat allies simply aren’t interested in, let alone up to, the job. So I say, fire up the electric fireplaces and let’s roast us some incumbents. Incumbent s’mores, anyone?

Dems worry as Obama becomes Big Bully

Forget about Orwell’s Big Brother; the Obama Administration is looking to become known by an even more ominous title: Big Bully. That’s the concern among the nations’ governors as the Obama Administration prepares to file suit against the state of Arizona because they don’t like the state’s immigration policy… which basically says, “Let’s act like we have one.”

Democratic governors are concerned primarily on the basis of how it could cost the party seats in this fall’s mid-term elections; they may not disagree with the challenge… they just want to win re-election first. Meanwhile, the GOP is warning how Obama’s bullying is basically an attempt by the Fed to grow its power even further beyond its Constitutionally-defined powers to make basically every law as something to be defined and decided at the Federal level.

That’s not a Constitutional Republic, folks; it’s socialism, and it’s about as useful as a 10-year-old taking prenatal vitamins.

RIP Nearly a century of hate

It’s not often considered good form to speak ill of the dead; yet with the passing of Democratic Senator Robert C. Byrd, one could almost make an exception. The eldest and longest-serving member of the U.S. Senate at age 92 at the time of his passing, Senator Byrd of West Virginia was at one time a Kleagle and an Exalted Cyclops in the Ku Klux Klan.

Although he later claimed to have been involved for only a year or so, documents have surfaced showing his fascination with the KKK lasted for perhaps as much as a decade. Also, his public voting record of opposing black nominees while in officer certainly does little to ameliorate his claims to a changed heart.

As the politics of the nation shifted, Byrd made public claims to changing with them, but as recently as 2001 had made public comments in which the “N-word” was uttered by him, though in that case it was uttered in reference to white people. Despite the Democratic party’s modern image as the party of racial diversity, they tolerated Byrd and his record of bigotry right up until his death, throwing out every possible defense to protect him, including Kohler kitchen sinks.

While WonderfulPessimist.com appreciates the grief of those who will miss Byrd as an individual – a father, grandfather and so forth – it would be disingenuous to pretend this site mourns his passing. His membership in the U.S. Senate was a stain on this nation’s history, and only as time goes by can it ever be expected to fade from memory.

That being said, we do hope he made peace with his creator and found truth and forgiveness with him prior to his passing.

Patraeus in on Afghanistan

Sometimes, history is the best revenge.

I’m not talking about how, someday soon, there might be Barack Obama-based baby Halloween costumes. No, I’m speaking of the firing of Gen. McChrystal in Afghanistan following the publication of a Rolling Stone interview; in the wake of his dismissal, who did President Obama turn to, to save his hide in Afghanistan?

Why, none other than Gen. David Patraeus.

The same general who Obama criticized in his handling of Iraq. The same general who Obama-funder MoveOn.org once mocked as “General Betray-Us” in an infamous New York Times ad. The same general who Obama feared might garner some political aspirations about two years down the line, if you know what I mean.

The guy Obama hated, General Patraeus, fortunately had no vengeful instinct controlling him when President Obama called on him to accept what is in essence a demotion, go over to Afghanistan, and clean up the Obama-McChrystal mess.

All he said, in the tradition of all good military men, was, “Yes sir, Mister President.”

If only Obama himself were as mature.

New California law intended to eliminate conservatives

This past week, in a ballot initiative, California passed an “open primary” law that will allow the top two vote-getters, regardless of party affiliation, to face off in the November general elections of that state. It is a measure supported by outgoing GOP-backstabber Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, and opposed by both Republicans and Democrats.

The measure’s publicized intent is to bypass the influence of party activists, who often pull candidates to ideological extremes, and place control back in the hands of so-called “moderates,” who allegedly make the decisions in the general elections. But that’s a PR job only those eligible for social security disability might swallow.

In California, the real agenda, in a state rarely friendly to Republicans in general and conservatives specifically, is to rig the system to rob voters of an ideological choice; California is generally one of the states both big enough, urban enough, and liberal enough that the top two vote-getters could – most of the time – be liberal candidates.

So rather than allow voters a choice, Californians hope to actually eliminate conservatives from even having a voice in most future elections in the golden state. Hopefully this is one trend the nation won’t follow.

Could Sestak claim lead to Obama impeachment?

In Pennsylvania, Democratic Congressman Joe Sestak may have ousted GOP-turned-Democrat Senator Arlen Specter in the Democratic primary, but he might be responsible for ousting an even bigger fellow Democrat, if he’s telling the truth. Sestak claims the Obama administration approach him prior to the Democratic primary and offered him a White House job if he stepped aside in favor of Specter.

Sound like politics as usual? Perhaps, but it’s also a violation of federal law. And not just a minor law, but one that adds up to a “high crime and misdemeanor” level of impeachable offenses. Specifically:

Simmons backs off in Connecticut; McMahon will face Blumenthal

Rob Simmons, a former GOP Congressman, finally announced he has accepted his party’s endorsement of former WWE executive Linda McMahon as the party’s nominee to take over retiring Democratic Senator Chris Dodd, who was heading toward a humiliating defeat before deciding to withdraw from a re-election bid.

Simmons crying uncle and ceasing his bid for a primary challenge to McMahon clears the way for Linda McMahon to focus her campaign energy on Richard Blumenthal, the popular Democratic attorney general of the state. Blumenthal is not to be confused with former Clinton staffer Sidney Blumenthal.

McMahon’s name recognition, despite being linked to WWE scandals like the links between pro wrestling and human growth hormone supplements, will be needed in November if the GOP hopes to win the seat.

Obama to help Arizona border… with 1,200 troops?

President Obama has decided to help Arizona, nationally reviled for passing a law against… gasp… ILLEGAL immigration, patrol the borders of that state that align with Mexico. Trouble is, the low number of troops he’s planning to send.

Word is, Obama will send a mere 1,200 troops to patrol 1,969 miles of Arizona-Mexico border. If you divide that into reasonable, eight-hour shifts, that means one solider for every five miles of borderlands. Not exactly tight security. Sounds like a plan even the makers of the best weight loss products would admit is “a little thin.”

The other element of the President’s “plan” for Arizona’s Mexican border is to request $500 million in additional funding for border security. It currently is unclear whether those funds will go to pay for the 1,200 troops being sent to Arizona, or to bolster the ranks of official border patrol agents already on duty there.

According to an Associated Press report, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, a Republican who replaced Janet Napolitano, had not been notified of the Obama administration’s decision, but the real kicker is that the 1,200 troops being sent reportedly won’t perform “significant law enforcement duties.”

So, apparently, these soldiers will be under orders to, what, exactly? Play Pong on their iPod Touch while the flood of illegals into Arizona continues without even lifting a finger?

Yup, now that sounds like an Obama Administration policy.