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Microsoft Vice President for Trustworthy Computing Scott Charney today unveiled the software giant’s latest venture: forming government taxation policy. Charney announced in San Francisco at a security conference that he believes the best way to pay for cyber-security programs is to… tax the American people via an Internet usage tax.

Even though the Web has thrived and been an economy-saver in many respects by existing free of most such measures, Microsoft Taxation 2010 would end the so-called “free ride.” Even Adipex reviews are more intriguing than a Charney speech, but this one raised a few eyebrows… one would presume MS Taxation 2010 would eventually be rolled into the Microsoft Office Suite – Big Government Edition.

Not to be outdone, Steve Jobs of Apple announced a new micro-gadget that would lock taxed voters out of Web space, to make more room for iTunes on the ‘net. The name of the new device? iWithoutRepresentation! Of course.

New DNA studies recently announced have confirmed the cause of death for the mysterious boy king of Egypt, Tutankhamen. Scientists found evidence of severe malaria, possibly brought on by a broken leg. As it turns out, Tut was a sickly lad who probably walked only with the aid of crutches during his brief and tragic life. (And given that there were no PCs back then, he probably went his entire life without seo software, either!)

Testing further confirmed his parentage as the son of notorious Egyptian monotheist, Akhenaten, and his mother one of Akhenaten’s sisters.

Tut also suffered from a cleft palate, Kohler’s disease, and a club foot, according to the study; Akhenaten dealt with a cleft palate, while Tut’s grandfather also had a club foot. Like his father, Tut married one of his sisters. It is believed the dynasty Tut was part of passed down such afflictions like this because of too much inter-marriage.

One affliction Tut and his family did not suffer from, however, was Marfan Syndrome, an affliction that can elongate limbs and lend a feminine appearance to males.

Algore, however, has denounced the study, insisting Tut was, “the world’s first victim of global warming.”

Whatever, Al…

Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke lives in the shadow of predecessor Alan Greenspan; and now, with the economy faltering largely under his leadership, the wizard of bailouts now looks like his second term is in doubt.

Although Obama has announced his intention to renominate Bernanke for a second term, key Democrats are off the bandwagon and the Fed Chair needs 60 votes to survive. The support of GOP lawmakers is in doubt because of Bernanke’s poor job performance handling the US economy.

Dems want Bernanke out, but for their own reasons; Obama would then be free to nominate someone of his own choosing. While no one’s issuing insurance quote on Bernanke’s job security, and the President is currently supportive, that could change if it becomes clear that Bernanke doesn’t have the votes to survive.

Of course, the administration is sounding all gloom-and-doom of Bernanke isn’t reappointed, but really… after the way he’s handled the economy in his first term, how bad does a Fed Reserve Chair have to screw up before making a change would be seen in a positive light?

Sure, I don’t trust Obama to appoint anyone who’s better… but I also doubt it could get worse much more quickly under anyone else, since the economy’s still spiraling downward under Bernanke anyway.

My wife and I were out this weekend, shopping for Hanukkah gifts. She was looking for gifts for me, I was looking for gifts for her. You get the idea.

Anyway, we were at Target and I spotting a sharp-looking Armitron, so my wife decided to make that my gift. Trouble is, the watch came with a cheap-looking and clammy-feeling rubber/plastic band. So we looked over their selection of leather watch bands to find something more appealing.

When I found one I liked, we moved to the jewelry counter to ask them to put the new leather band on the watch for us – something I’ve done all my life, whether shopping at Target, Wal-Mart, ShopKo or even K-Mart.

The young man, who couldn’t have been much older than 17 if that, pointed out a sign on the counter.

“We have a new policy,” he explained. “We don’t do that anymore. Target figured our time was too valuable to mess with putting bands on watches. There’s not enough money in it for us.”

Now, jewelry counters in department stores always have the right tool to pull off an operation like changing a watch band, which requires a VERY SMALL screwdriver to pull back the little pin. It’s not something one can do at home very successfully with a tweezers or something, since the metal is too thick to get the pin down. And it’s hazardous to try; you can cut yourself fairly easily in a failed attempt.

Of course, with the proper tool, it’s a breeze, which is why we went to the jewelry counter in the first place. So I was shocked that this teenager who probably makes seven dollars an hour or so, felt his time was “too valuable” to help out a paying customer.

I very nearly canceled the entire purchase, but I loved the Armitron so much, I just decided not to buy the watch band.

“We’ll go for that to a store that actually cares about customer service,” we told him.

The next day, we went to Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart employees tend to make less than those at Target, but guess who was a whole lot more interested in having us leave their establishment happy?

That’s right; Wal-Mart sold us a nearly identical leather band and put it on for us with a smile and a “thank you for shopping Wal-Mart!” even though the watch had been purchased elsewhere!

Take that, Target! Customer dis-service like that is why Wal-Mart is more successful than you, and will remain so. And don’t worry… I’ll never ask a Target employee to install a watch band for me again… I’ll be getting all my future watches… and wrist bands… at Wal-Mart from now on.

A CBS News/Vanity Fair poll listed radio host Rush Limbaugh as the nation’s most influential conservative voice, according to results released Sunday. Limbaugh was named by 26 percent of respondents, followed by Glenn Beck with 11 percent and politicians Sarah Palin and Dick Cheney at 10 percent each.

That Limbaugh is the nation’s leading conservative voice should come as no shock, given its a position he held – poll data or not – since the early 1990s. The only true shock is that CBS News is actually acknowledging the radio host’s existence without attempting to tie him to an appetite suppressant scandal or something like that. Refreshing! Thanks for telling us what we already knew, CBS!

I’m not someone who changes my antivirus program every single year; I prefer to find a solution I like and stick with it until it becomes obvious there’s something better on the market. For the past couple years, Kaspersky has been my preferred solution, but that may be changing next time my license comes due.

When it comes to antivirus software, I’m willing to spend a bit more of a superior technology is in play; that’s why I chose Kaspersky a couple years ago. But it’s the most expensive solution on the market, and I only get one license for it. Sure, it’s the best on the market. But perhaps that’s not the case anymore.

Sun Belt Software has released a new technology called Vipre Antivirus, and for about half the price of Kaspersky, it offers an unlimited home site license – meaning as long as it’s a home computer, I could put it on both my wife’s desktop and laptop, as well as my desktop and laptop, all for one low price. That’s quick attractive. No one else offers that. Sure, a single-user license is still cheaper at $29.99; but for $49.99, to cover all four of my household computers? That’s a huge savings. HUGE!

But more importantly, it uses fewer system resources than anything else out on the market, while offering some new virus-preventing technologies that no one else – not even Kaspersky – has caught up to yet. As long as they offer hourly virus definition updates like Kaspersky, I believe Sun Belt Software’s Vipre Antivirus may become my new solution!

I’ll want to make sure once March rolls around, but I have a feeling it’s time to switch.

It’s not always a safe world out there, and trusting everyone until they give you a reason not to is a good character quality, perhaps, but a dangerous approach when protecting your personal and business data. That’s why data security is now so big a concern that sharp online-savvy universities like Lewis University now offers a master’s degree program in information security.

The best thing is that this is definitely a growth area in terms of employment, even in the midst of a down economy. Who wouldn’t want to be in a field where not only are there companies hiring, but there’s a vast shortage of properly-trained professionals? Isn’t that what everyone’s looking for? That’s why Information Security Colleges like Lewis University Online are filling the gap with their degrees in this in-demand field.

Check it out. Unless you’re not among the 10 percent unemployed and can’t imagine a better job than the one you already have, that is…

The Senate health bill currently wending its way through committees and such could create a whole new class of criminal. Imagine this scene:

Open on three men sitting in a county holding cell. The first looks rough and angry; the second is grossly obese; the third is thin and coughs a lot.

ROUGH MAN: Hey fellas, don’t mess with me. I’m in here for murder.

OBESE MAN: You sound rockin’, dude.

ROUGH MAN: You bet I am. Don’t tell the cops, but you bet I offed that guy. Worthless life, and I ended it. Good riddance. Anyway, what are you two in for?

OBESE MAN: Well…

ROUGH MAN: Dude, I’m a murderer. Get over it. You can’t shock me.

OBESE MAN: Well… I violated the health care reform law. I gained weight instead of losing it.

ROUGH MAN: I’ll say you did, Tiny! But seriously… what you in for?

OBESE MAN: That’s it.

ROUGH MAN: That’s it? You’re in jail because you’re fat?

OBESE MAN: Well, I’m poor, too. I couldn’t pay the fine.

ROUGH MAN: That’s pathetic, meat. You won’t last long in here, except as maybe a human comforter, Pork-o.

COUGHING MAN: That’s *coughs* not very nice.

ROUGH MAN: Well, I’m not a nice man, now, am I? How many murderers you met who are nice? Anyway, what’s your story, Wheezy?

COUGHING MAN: Well, I failed to give up smoking.

OBESE MAN: That’s it?

ROUGH MAN: That’s IT?

COUGHING MAN: That’s *coughs* it! ObamaCare declared me a threat to national security.

ROUGH MAN: What the–? You’re joking, right?

COUGHING MAN and OBESE MAN: No!

ROUGH MAN: Sounds like I’m better off in here than out there.

OBESE MAN: Or you could sell pet supplies.

ROUGH MAN: Shut up, Crisco.

The U.S. Senate and House are faking the “struggle” to pass health care reform, and members of the mainstream liberal media have their most creative journalists cribbing tips from suspense authors like James Patterson to make it seem like they’re leaping over huge hurdles to accomplish this.

But let’s be honest, shall we? Right now, the Dems have a 60-seat majority despite the death of Ted Kennedy – since he’ll inevitably be replaced by another Dem anyway – and that prevents even a filibuster on the issue in the Senate. In the House, the Dems also have a commanding majority, despite all the talk of mythical “blue-dog Democrats.” (Psst… you’re not a “blue dog” if you vote the party line every time it counts.)

And, of course, they control the White House as well, right down to the light fixtures.

So forget all those conspiracy-laced yellow-journalism articles from the New York Times on down. Pay them no heed when they allege how hard Republicans are going to fight them.

Because the truth is, the Dems do not need a single GOP vote to pass this Obama-nation of a bill by a huge majority. So the real test here will be to count how many turncoat Republicans will flip at the last second and vote for this monstrosity.

And then, it’ll be up to the voters to make all those Dems and turncoat Republicans pay for their votes in the next election cycle.

Rio Di Janeiro will become the first South American city to host an Olympic games celebration in 2016, which is awesome news. What athlete wouldn’t want to spend the 2016 Summer Olympics chilling between events on the balmy beaches of Rio? What athlete in their right mind would rather be in dirty, corrupt Chicago?

Still, President Obama spent a lot of political capital to demean the office of president by begging the IOC to bring the 2016 Summer Games to dirty, stinky, corrupt Chicago just the same… Mr. President, your community organizer roots are showing, sir.

Fortunately, sanity won out and Chicago was the first city eliminated, despite the presidential appeal. Chicago garnered only 16 votes… and allegedly, 12 of those were produced by ACORN. Cancer patients better hope the Commander In Chief doesn’t go stumping for treatments for Mesothelioma next!

Less than half the country – 49 percent – either slightly or strongly agree with President Obama’s job performance. Of those, only 30 percent strongly approve, a significant dip in the tracking poll published by Rasmusson Reports. Whether you consider that order fulfillment or wish fulfillment depends on the individual.

But a thin majority of Americans – 50 percent – disapprove of President Obama’s job performance. This shift in opinion could stem from Obama’s bull-headed insistence on getting a health care reform plan rushed through Congress before the August recess. Some new disapproval, however, comes from the slower timetable for withdrawal from Iraq that President Obama is embracing, rather than the “immediate withdrawal” he promised the far left when he was on the campaign trail.

A 5.0 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles at about 8:39 PDT on Sunday. Reports are that the quake caused no major damage, but it was felt as far south of LA as Long Beach.

While a 5.0 quake is nothing coast-shattering, it’s not a minor quake, either, and it will be interesting in the coming hours to see how extensive the damage might be. While it’s not as world-moving as nuphedra, a 5.0 quake can lead to some structural damage to older buildings; it may not bring them down, but could make them hazardous.

If you have loved ones in the LA area, they’re probably unhurt. Thank goodness!