Posts Tagged → Family
Hell week
The good news is, Grandma is going to be okay. Still, my trip to Chicago with my fiancee last week was basically a genuine “hell week.”
It’s hard to discuss everything chronologically, so instead, I’ll focus on themes. At least, that way, it’ll be easier to follow than it was to live through.
GRANDMA’S MEDICAL CONDITION
Although we went down on Tuesday, things really began the week before. On the previous Friday, Grandma was recovering from hip replacement surgery and seemed to be doing fine and expected to be released within a week. Unfortunately, it was not to be so simple.
For the purposes of surgery, Grandma had been given a blood thinner, but the dosage was off and then, to make matters worse, interacted with a diabetes med she was on and things started to get bad.
On Thursday, she had been up and around, doing a lot on her own. By Friday, she was back in bed and becoming nonresponsive. By Saturday, her blood sugar was up to a dangerous 180 and she was even less responsive and completely bed-ridden. No one was called. No doctor was brought in.
By Sunday, Grandma was completely nonresponsive and her blood sugar was up to 300. Finally, late in the day, a doctor was called in to look at her. This, despite her blood sugar being checked four times a day. The doctor was shocked he had not been brought in earlier, but it was still Monday before she was hospitalized and Tuesday before my fiancee and I received word about what was going on.
When we were called, we had one doc saying relatives should “be on the next plane out,” while another said, “you can take up to 24 hours to get here.” Grandma was, by then, nearly comatose and in danger of organ failure, with emergency dialysis procedures underway. By the time we arrived and saw her, she was bleeding from everywhere it was possible to bleed and, although she was starting to become responsive on occasion, had every appearance of a woman about to shuffle off the mortal coil – at least, that was our unspoken fear.
My fiancee and I prayed with her, a first for Grandma, who typically doesn’t like to be prayed for, except by her priest. Grandma and my fiancee had an important meeting of the minds. But the mood still seemed to be one of “waiting for the worst to happen.”
But on Thursday, things turned for the better. The Vitamin K started taking effect to stop the internal bleeding and – despite being exhausted – Grandma was more coherent. By Friday, she was more alert and had the spark back in her eyes. And the doctors said it was just a matter of a room opening up before she’d be moved out of ICU and into the regular part of the hospital. That happened Saturday. She now only has to regain her strength and begin her rehabilitation… all over again.
MY FIANCEE’S HEALTH
Due to the stress of the situation, my fiancee, who has asthsma, went into a full-blown asthma episode. Stranded far from home and without a rescue inhaler, in desperation, we bought over-the-counter Primatene Mist, which is probably all that saved us from having her join Grandma in the hospital.
The next day, we were able to get her prescriptions transferred down, but by then the asthsma was set in and by the end of the week had developed into an upper respiratory infection. For those not in the know, when in a full-blown asthsma episode, the worst place for a person to be is… you guessed it… in a hospital full of sick folks. But, you do what you have to in a situation like that, I guess.
While down there, neither of us got more than three hours of sleep a night and, of course, it was all book-ended by eight or more hour trips to and back from Chicago. So exhaustion played a factor, too.
OUR RETURN
As if all this weren’t stressful enough, when we returned home, my fiancee’s apartment had been trashed by the cable company. Their disrespect included:
1) Not cleaning up their own mess
2) Leaving toxic chemicals on the floor for her cat to walk in, and possibly lick.
3) Not moving her rat’s cage, letting the debris fall on it, polluting the rat’s cage, which caused the rat to chew deep scars into its skin.
4) Stealing food, a chair, a book and perhaps a couple other items from her apartment.
5) Leaving the place in a shambles.
Wonderful customer service, eh? Thanks, Comcast.
To add icing to the cake, while we were reacting to the trashed apartment, someone stole her wallet, which had been left out in the hallway with our bags. It was eventually returned, three days later, but not before adding even more stress as we went through the process of canceling check cards and such.
We were able to have our Valentine’s Day dinner, two days early. But for the final insult, while cleaning up, the candle-holder I gave her as a V-Day gift tipped over and broke. Sometimes, you just end up feeling like Job, the tragic Old Testament character. Truly, it was a hell week. We can only be glad that it’s finally over.
Hit by the unexpected
A lot of people talk freely about “the best laid plans of mice and men” often going awry.
I don’t know a whole lot about that. What I do know is that sometimes it feels like, just as you’re getting your bearings and things are looking up, BLAM! You get hit by the unexpected and everything falls to chaos again…
No, this isn’t another dry essay about September 11. The ‘net is filled with those. This one hits closer to home. At work today, I got a call from my fiancee. It seems her grandmother is hospitalized and in serious condition. Things are looking grim. So we’re headed down to Chicago in a few hours to visit and pray and hope for the best while bracing ourselves if “the best” doesn’t happen. Needless to say, it won’t be a fun trip to Chicago.
It’s amazing how fast you can grow attached to people. Although I’ve known my fiancee for close to a year and we’ve been engaged for about four months, I’ve only been down to Chicago to visit her relatives there three times. Yet the news that one of them is in serious condition has me as shaken as I’d be if it were one of my own relatives. And they want me there, with them.
Three visits, none longer than three days. In all, maybe a week of knowing Grandma. Not that long, when you think about it. Yet we’re all wrapped up in each other’s hearts. And now, facing the possibility of a loss of someone I haven’t yet come to know as well as I’d like to.
I wish I could connect this to some deep insight, make a connection to a bigger issue that everyone can relate to. But the wound is fresh and the outcome too uncertain.
I know this much: Even though a year ago I didn’t know Grandma, I don’t want to think about losing her quite so soon. Our hope had been for her – and my parents – to be around in 13-14 months when we get married and the possibility that now that might not happen? It’s no fun to think about.
So excuse me if this post is an incoherant ramble and, if you could hear me, I sound a little bit like Mushmouth from Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids. It’s just that I’ve been hit by the unexpected.
I’ll be back.
