Posts Tagged → pet supplies
Senate health bill may create new criminals
The Senate health bill currently wending its way through committees and such could create a whole new class of criminal. Imagine this scene:
Open on three men sitting in a county holding cell. The first looks rough and angry; the second is grossly obese; the third is thin and coughs a lot.
ROUGH MAN: Hey fellas, don’t mess with me. I’m in here for murder.
OBESE MAN: You sound rockin’, dude.
ROUGH MAN: You bet I am. Don’t tell the cops, but you bet I offed that guy. Worthless life, and I ended it. Good riddance. Anyway, what are you two in for?
OBESE MAN: Well…
ROUGH MAN: Dude, I’m a murderer. Get over it. You can’t shock me.
OBESE MAN: Well… I violated the health care reform law. I gained weight instead of losing it.
ROUGH MAN: I’ll say you did, Tiny! But seriously… what you in for?
OBESE MAN: That’s it.
ROUGH MAN: That’s it? You’re in jail because you’re fat?
OBESE MAN: Well, I’m poor, too. I couldn’t pay the fine.
ROUGH MAN: That’s pathetic, meat. You won’t last long in here, except as maybe a human comforter, Pork-o.
COUGHING MAN: That’s *coughs* not very nice.
ROUGH MAN: Well, I’m not a nice man, now, am I? How many murderers you met who are nice? Anyway, what’s your story, Wheezy?
COUGHING MAN: Well, I failed to give up smoking.
OBESE MAN: That’s it?
ROUGH MAN: That’s IT?
COUGHING MAN: That’s *coughs* it! ObamaCare declared me a threat to national security.
ROUGH MAN: What the–? You’re joking, right?
COUGHING MAN and OBESE MAN: No!
ROUGH MAN: Sounds like I’m better off in here than out there.
OBESE MAN: Or you could sell pet supplies.
ROUGH MAN: Shut up, Crisco.
Is Edwards enough of a grown-up to be president?
Dismissing everything from September 11 to present – the entire War of Terror – as a “bumper sticker, not a plan,” Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards has displayed a shocking lack of maturity, and possibly a need for pet supplies rather than campaign contributions.
It opens up the question of whether Edwards, despite his age, is enough of a grown-up to be president of the United States. It’s fine to be opposed to the war, to suggest there’s a different way to conduct it, even a preference for ending it before the war is won. Folks can debate the merits of such proposals and base their voting decisions of it.
But to deny six years of actual history as a campaign slogan is to display such a shocking lack of maturity and temperament as to make one wonder if Edwards has the gravitas to serve. Certainly, the comment drew a response from the current president, George W. Bush. On Thursday at the White House, in a news conference, Bush took a swipe at Edwards, indirectly, when he said, “This notion that this isn’t a war on terror is, in my view, naive.”
Naive, immature and dangerous, in the Wonderful Pessimist’s assessment. Of course, Edwards’ entire party is burying their heads in the sand of late, wanting to wipe out the very term “War On Terror” from official government use.
Sure… the war is like a bad dream. If you ignore it, it’ll go away. Just keep believing that through the 2008 elections, Dems. You’ll be doing the GOP a big electoral favor. Thanks!
McCain keeps skipping conservatives… no kidding, Sherlock!
Beltway newspaper The Hill is breathlessly reporting that Arizona Senator John McCain and deluded GOP presidential nominee John McCain has “skipped his fourth conservative conference event in a row.” C’mon, is anyone really surprised by this?
Only by the standards set by the New York Times and the StarTribune is McCain even remotely considered a conservative, and the smarter folks on those staffs know it’s a sham. McCain’s a liberal, they know it, but if they can label him a conservative long enough, maybe they can convince the GOP faithful to vote for him and then, no matter who wins in ’08, it’ll be a liberal.
Sorry, Elana Schor, but Wonderful Pessimist isn’t buying what you’re selling, even if all it is, is pet supplies. Ever since jumpin’ Jim Jeffords left the GOP, McCain’s been just about the most liberal Republican on Capitol Hill. We’ll do our presidential shopping elsewhere, thank you!
